Swine Flu threatens JA Entertainment

It looks like Michael Jackson’s years of ridicule may come to an end, as in imitation of the glove-wearing, mask-toting pop idol- Jamaicans are running for their masks as the latest frenzy of the influenza A (H1NI) virus (formerly called swine flu) hits Jamaica.

 What started as a hiccup with two reported cases in the island initially, kicked into high gear this week, into a cough with two confirmed cases in Manchester bring the total to 19 so far, and could cause the heart of the Jamaican entertainment industry- the dances, parties and stage shows to end if disaster strikes! While everyone, might not be pondering, the effects to entertainment- as hey Swine Flu kinda scary- if the cases increase throughout the island, entertainment will come to a stand still and then a lockdown.

Take for instance say as it nears the end of July two cases arise in Montego Bay, I don’t think Keri Hilson, Jasmine Sullivan, Neyo, Nas and Toni Braxton are brave enough to risk the swine.

 Nor would the second city allow for large gatherings such as Reggae Sumfest to continue where the virus can spread till the whole city is taken over. God forbid if the sleepy Negril, that only comes alive during Independence weekend, experiences a few cases- all those who forked out the thousands on hotel rooms, armbands, hot clothes and spent months in the gym working on their ‘summer bodies’, can say goodbye to the ‘Dream’ and ATI. No battle there guys, the swine kills both of y’ll competition! Hundreds of teeny boppers and youngsters will be staying home shaking their fist at the calamity as the Rastas sit back and can finally say ‘Mi did tell unnu’ that pork is indeed a bad thing.’

 Then from the West the pigs fly into Kingston, entertainment capital, putting a stop order on the nightlife of local vampires, who haunt the Hot dis, Boasy dat, Weddy, Bembe, and all the other dances that litter the streets. All the bigger summer parties would stop, stage shows, nightlife would come to an standstill and promoters would more than likely turn to the cups crying at the loss of millions for their events.

 So knock on wood, go to the local obeah man, throw some salt, get a horseshoe, send a few more prayers and hope that you, your friends and family as the well as the entertainment industry doesn’t suffer under the influenza A (H1NI) virus.

 DISCLAIMER: Note people: Please do not go off and kill some defenseless pigs as the animal is not responsible for spread of the virus in Jamaica. The reference to pork is just the humour of Princess Fiona.

 Written by: Princess Fiona