Changing our Culture – Funerals
Most of us can appreciate the significant outlay required for a funeral. There is the cost of the plot, headstone, coffin, the service and the food and drink that is provided for all of the guests that come. Often times the family is left in a worse financial situation after the funeral than they were in before it. In these difficult times we now have to reexamine our culture to see if we can find a way to reduce the cost of funerals.
Now I know that this suggestion will not be readily accepted but I am putting it out there anyway. We have a custom of having a nine night whenever someone dies and for eight days persons come to the house to visit the grieving family. On the ninth night there is a big celebration and everyone turns up at the house for food and drink and music. In many cases it is the family that has to find the money to provide for all of these things. The culture of nine night is merely a tradition and has its roots in superstition and one should consider not having a nine night.
The cost of a coffin is very high and I often see people buying mahogany coffins lined with silk. Again this is born out of tradition that says that you have to make the person comfortable so that they can rest in peace. 100 years ago persons were buried in a simple wooden box and this was widely accepted by the populace. Today there is no reason why we cannot do the same especially when one considers that there are many unscrupulous funeral homes or persons who will dig up and switch your coffin. Another point to consider is cremating the body which is significantly cheaper than providing a coffin. The added advantage to this method is that you can also reduce the size of the plot that you need to bury the ashes. If you prefer you could alternatively scatter the ashes of the person perhaps somewhere that has a lot of memories of them.
A further point to consider is to buy life insurance which will cover the cost of paying for the funeral and which also can provide resources needed to provide for the future of the remaining family members. It is always better to have some assistance than to have to find all of the resources on your own.
Many of the things that we do for funerals are based on our traditions or on the belief that one has to demonstrate how much the person who died was loved. My belief is that one should not wait until a person has died to show how much they were appreciated. If we were to demonstrate our love for a person while they are still living then that will be more meaningful than to “scatter roses after they are gone”.
The Gleaner reserves the right not to publish comments that may be deemed libelous, derogatory or indecent.
To respond to The Gleaner please use the feedback form.
25 Responses to “Changing our Culture – Funerals”
Leave a Reply
Older Posts
- Election Questions on Pension Reform
- Election Questions on Taxation
- Election Questions on the Public Sector
- Election Questions on Energy
- Election Questions on Education
- Election Questions on Crime
- Election Questions on Jobs
- Election Questions on Finance
- Business Opportunities – Information Technology
- Business Opportunities – Film Making
Other Blogs
Agriculture
Gavel
Have your say
Iconsumer
Motor sports
Social Impact
Sports
Social Bookmarks
Bookmark this:
| M | T | W | T | F | S | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| «-» | ||||||
| 1 | 2 | 3 | ||||
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 |
| 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | |
- Gleaner Company Websites
- Jamaica Gleaner
- The Star
- Go Jamaica
- Go Local
- Sports Jamaica
- Sports Caribe
- Hospitality Jamaica
- Youth Link
- Voice UK
- Gleaner Company Websites
- Business Directory
- Gleaner Classifieds
- Kingston Restaurant Week
- Financial Gleaner
- Discover Jamaica
- Discover Caribe
- Returning Residents
- Go Jamaica hosting
- Contact Info
- RSS Feed
- Contact Us
STRESSFUL STRESSFUL ALL KIND A PEOPLE SOME OF WHO NEVER COME TO THE FUNERAL BUT FULL UP PEOPLE YARD NYAM UP DRINK UP FRIEND OF MINE TOLD ME HE HAD TO CONTROL THE LIQUER ONE FEMALE HAD 2 GUINESS IN HER BACK POCKET ONE FI SHE AND ONE FI HER MAN AND DEM WANT FOOD TO CARRY HOME TOO ITS CHEAPER TO LIVE
..Im one smaddy who wont get carried away with funerals. Simplicity is key. I dont do 9- nights,.. smaddy dead, u spend time with family/friends, and bury them or cremnate..with dignity, and simplicity.
All this for putting a corpse in a hole. The “coffin time” is an opportune moment to provide the belly of a district with a three course meal. Who can forget the scowls and wielding of many who never got any of the goat head soup.I guess tradition comes at a price.We can’t allow these increase amount of “manleys” to be squandered on “bands” and food. Children need to go to school!
I could not have stated it better!! For years this is happening and definately some family or ‘friends’ suddenly appear when the person has gone. You forgot to mention the wardrobe to attend and some are such that should be left for
the trip to a dance hall session.
When I was a child and someone dies, people would show up with a bunch of banana, piece of yam,etc. now some people show up with their bags to see what they can get. If you have family coming from abroad, every thing is trippled. I say cut out the nine night, have a repast for the people who come from a far. The dead knows nothing so make people comfortable while they are alive.
When my grandma died in June we didn’t have a whole week of nyammings. We simply had the set up and the funeral.
The people in the district was furious cause they were washing out their bellys. I live in Kgn and my fam. lived overseas so I did all the paper work until they came and just buried her. We saved a lot of money by doing so.
This is the most ridiculous thing in the name of culture. My first time in many years attending a funeral in Jamaica and I literally had to push and shove some of those unruly people. They dont bring you anything, every one and their dogs came out to full their stomach and take every and anything they can put their hands on especially if the decease has family abroad.
Its about time people stop trying to pleaase others that play no meaningful role in your life and even if they do you have to draw the line some where.
People are hurting in this economic climate compounded with the loss of a love one. It’s time to rethink what that culture business is doing for your pocket book.
Cremation all the way! Not only from from a cost factor but in order to ensure that we utilize land more efficiently. I see no reason why people have died should occupy so much arable and productive land,literally,while the living has difficulty finding such.
They should bury yuo like a donkey, since you are so cheap and miserable in life. Hell, don’t even bother to bury you, just throw your body in the nearest gully so the buzzards can feed on it. Think of the savings for your loved ones. Only for you!
So Trueful Stress,Stress, a prayer meeting is well done for ur love one on the night bfore the Burial.
My view exactly. I want all the goodies now so wen I die I can be put away in the cheapest way possible.
I wholeheartedly agree,too much celebrations at funerals,the only thing is needed is the funeral,too much money is spent at the deadyard on food and music.People from all over come eat and drink and the family is left with the expenses.
Soh let’s get this straight: A wise birdie alert one of the unwisdom of the position; but the effects of the mental slavery is so intense that one has to ignore the little birdie and “putting it out there anyway”?
Without customs and traditions, a people become scattered, lost, dysfunctional and self-destructive mental slaves/servants of others.
The criminal invaders, kidnappers and evil enslavers of Africans understood and practiced that evil of African cultural destruction. And of course they brainwashed those very destructive seeds into the unfortunate minds of those who refuse, even in this the 21st Century, to pause and cleanse their minds of eurocentric devilishness.
It is the interfering and evil eurocentric mentality that would seek to get deeply involved, and get involved negatively, in other people’s intimate family affairs!
If one does not want to splurge on those who are near and dear when they depart this earth, then that’s fine.
However, are those sending off the ‘dearly departed’ richly, complaining to you about the cost of their funerals? NO!
And one’s ‘belief’ is unfounded if it leads one to think that elaborate funerals are about “one has to demonstrate how much the person who died was loved”.
If one wasn’t cut off from one’s roots, lost from ones ‘customs’ and traditions, then one would know that elaborate African funerals go back countless generations; and they haven’t to do with the silly ‘love’ thing.
The African funerals of Nile Valley Civilizations of thousands of years ago, had nothing to do with ‘love’.
Africans have ALWAYS known that life goes on, even after the body has become worthless and dies.
A ONE TIME ‘rich’ funeral is meant to assist the deceased on ‘the other side’.
If the Africans of Nile Valley Civilizations did not splurge on their ‘dearly departed’, a lot of Africans’ rich history would not exist today to inspire those wise descendants, who would seek to know, preserve and increase their African customs rather than casting them aside under the inimical influences of the enemies of historical Africans.
Your enemies will always want you to do away with your customs; because that’s what enemies do — seek to weaken one’s roots so that they can be easily enslaved/destroyed!
Think about it; if African people had more of their customs, then maybe the the relatively small and necessary funeral expenses could be more easily afforded.
So what should be ‘put out there’ is more research and re-enlivenment of one’s roots and customs, and more African culture not less!
Less customs is for mental slaves/servants.
This is such a timely comment. I live in US and when there is death, friends bring food etc. The grieving family is not expected to provide for persons dropping by to share their sympathies on a daily basis leading up to the funeral.
There is a celebration on the day of the funeral. I know of a situation where there was not money to do the funeral, but the concern was for funds to cook and have nine/night,which is so ridiculous. The current practice is not for the deceased , who while alive ,never heard from those persons who are now bent on putting on this over the top fest.
Well I believe that when one die the party should go on!.. this is a once in a lifetime thing, one dead once!.. so I believe that people should put something a side for that eventuality!.. so as you said when they gone the financial burden can be lighter!…
When I am dead!.. I request two things!..
(1) Not to be buried in a foreign land. I must be buried in the land of my birth.
2 Never to cremate my body!… I want to return to the earth from whence I came!.
The food the drinks don’t bother me !. I would rather spend it on the food rather than on the casket!.. and further more I already have a mahogany and a cedar tree planted for me from I was a child for just this reason!..
Here, here I say to this very timely article. I remember how three funerals in the space of six years devasted my family. We simply never recovered. It ran us hundreds of thousands of dollars and took a while to pay off. Years later, those graves are still waiting for headstones. People need to be aware that it is their choice, whether or not they should be feeding a community for sometimes up to two weeks just to “save face!” Why can’t there be a small private ceremony among those who meant something to the deceased? Plus, most times nobody cared one bit about the person when they were alive? We boasty Jamaicans need to stop fooling ourselves – in wealthy nations this is simply not practised due to the level of expense and the high level of financial stress & suffering this practice places on the poor bereaved family. In three days or so, its over and no one is getting two weeks of work to keep up big celebration to feed and clean up after bad behaving crowd. So, who exctly does this benefit? The man who – according to him and his buddies unknown to the family or deceased “a long time him no drink no good liquor?” How do all these drunks behaving badly, stealing your stuff or damaging your property,and putting a hole in your pocket contribute to celebrating a loved one’s life? Time to stop showing off and to live within our means. We are what we are – a poor nation with lots of poor people who don’t even have jobs or prospects for gainful employment to afford these “posh” burials. Time to stop stressing out family and friends overseas as most times they just don’t have it, and to “look good” they are taking cash advances on their credit cards to keep their sometimes greedy and inconsiderate relations back home quiet!
My husband and I in our forties and fifties respectively, presently reside in New York State. We have decided that we will be cremated instead of being buried. It so much more,sensible and economical. We also have life insurance, $500,000.00 each; these policies we ought in our thirties and forties. If any of us should pass on now our house would be paid off and there would e enough to make sure our youngest goes to college when it is time for him to do so. There is absoutely no way would be able to get the present rate we have on our policy in this financial climate. We really should do like the Jews or even some states in Africa, be practical and use the most inexpensive and only really necessary items. Once the spirit has left the body there really is no need for comfort. What we should really do is tell our loved ones that we love them and show then while they are still in this world.
Very appropriate article. I too strongly agree with you – show people how much you appreciate them when they are alive. I have lived in Jamaica for most of my life and I have never had the desire to attend a nine night because I think it is quite stressful on the families – the cost, the coordination, the clean up. But we can only lead a horse to the water we cannot make them drink. I would also like to encourage every working adult to take out a Family indemnity Plan which is offered by most if not all credit unions at affordable monthly rates – this helps with funeral expenses.
It is certainly shameful and disgusting what persons expect or demand of grieving families for nine days. This must stop! People are too greedy,selfish and inconsiderate. People who provide must also stop providing and be not perturbed about. After the funeral only, maybe in order for long travellers. In fact people attending should bring some for the family.
That is bad but the behaviour and dress at the funeral and in the churches are most unacceptable and disgraceful. I really thought there was enough dancehall events for persons to show off the kind of dressing now seen. Even persons who one believes have some intelligence and exposure to education are adopting this mode of ‘bare it all’ dressing for funertals.
Disrespectful! Ministers must ask them not to enter the santuary.
don’t stress mi friend, the scenario u described is found across the caribbean. here in the bahamas those people are called “toters”, they come to ur function uninvited, eat,drink & what they don’t carry out in their bellies, they “tote” away in handbags, pockets etc. Better to just burn the body, & call it that.
I have experienced first hand how disgusting it can be following the Jamaican custom of burying a loved on. People who turn up to the nine night are there the first day of your loved ones passing …..not to offer comfort! Oh no..but expecting to be fed. This makes the entire process far more stressful, expensive and painful than it needs to be.
I agree with you completely I just buried my mother and fortunately for me and my siblings we could afford it. However spending so much money to feed so many people many of whom simply came for the food and alcohol is a financial drain on the family who are also going through the added stress of burying their love one.
Our culture should be changed, other cultures the dead is buried the next day in a simple coffin.In the u s a friends and family give food and money to assist the greiving family and to ease the financial burden.
We have a culture of uncaring and greed, how can people come to a nine night just to eat and dont even go to the funeral the next day?
They are the ones who eat and drink the most
and put the family under pressure to provide
even when they are finding it difficult to bury their loved one.
This funeral thing is getting out of hand. I seen money that should have been invested in a young person’s development spent on their funeral…pretty sad if you asked me.
As for me all the t-shirt and button printing can stay and if the pope can bury in simple box what says me…my family can put the money to better use.
I came to Ja to bury my father in 2007 and after helping my brother and his children foot the butial bill I told my brother that I will be going back to the country that i live and i wanted no part of a nine night.I told him that if he wanted one he could go ahead. As it turned out some of my father friends were as mad as hell because no nine night was held. The had animosity to my brother and probably me too, but i could’nt care less. I say Give the extra to the living.