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24 Responses to “Teenage pregnancy”

1. Bob says:

   March 16, 2009 at 6:14 pm

   I can answer this question because my daughter is now approaching 20 so i wouldn’t turn her out . for 2 reason . 1 she wouldn get pregnant in her teenage years. 2 because from she was about 10 years old we started to teach her about boys and sex and how it work and what to look for . so she don’t have to go out there and find out .

   Most Jamaican parents are so ashamed of their body parts, and their sexuality that they cant discuss sex with their young teenage daughters. And they don’t know that bu doing so it will come to bite them in the butt. when you don’t teach your kids how can you blame them?

   Its funny I guess because our society looks at sex as dirty. i don’t know. but i urge parent to start teaching their girl children about sex at age 10 . that if some of then don’t already know what it is. but that’s no excuse. some one who know danger early will stay away from it.
2. Sashan says:

   March 17, 2009 at 7:15 am

   I am not yet a parent but recently passed my teenage years. I would do what i would want my parents to do, guide and assist me in this process. I would not throw out my daughter as some parents do, this only adds to the detriment of the society..By helping my daughter during this nine months and all the years to come, i will play a part in moulding the future generation. Hopefully she will have learnt and the same won’t happen to her daughter.
3. Sasha D. says:

   March 17, 2009 at 8:57 am

   Well, I am now a grandmother of a pre-teen, and I definitely hope she at least goes through University before any pregnancy comes along. But….should it happens….sure I would be very disappointed, devastated even….but I could never turn my back on her, and I would hope her mom and dad wouldn’t either.

   At age 17, fresh out of High School, innocent to the world and ignorant of men, I found myself pregnant after partying for one single night. Boyfriend, who had been only just that, took advantage of the fact that he was leaving the island, and I was too drunk to say no! And so after 2 minutes…perhaps seconds..of ruckus…that’s exactly what it was I think….I became pregnant.

   Who did I turn to? Mom! Mom was hurt, upset, angry, mad, ashamed even….but she locked it all in, and stood by me….every step of the way. And because of that I got the courage, the inspiration to move on ahead after the baby was born. I went back to school, graduated from college, and went on to University.

   What if Mom had turned me out? Where would I have gone? What would I have become? Possibly, a pretty girl like me would have found another man to give me other babies. I may even have found happiness, but I definitely learned my lesson and that has made me one very sophisticated, independent woman.

   THANK YOU MOM!
4. Tanya says:

   March 17, 2009 at 10:18 am

   I am not a parent but I had the experience of my younger cousin becoming pregnant at the age of 14 yrs. I took her to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy and then back home to discuss the situation with her mother, aunt and grandmother.

   Her mother was devastated but overall everyone stayed calm and showed their support. Though we were not condoning my cousins actions, we made her know that it was not the end of the world.

   Turning your teenage child out because of pregnancy cannot work to any ones benefit. As hard as it may be, showing love, support and proper guidance is the better choice.
5. Mark says:

   March 17, 2009 at 12:42 pm

   I would give her two choices

   (1) An abortion

   or

   (2) An abortion!!!

   Actually, given that she is as teenager, their wouldn’t be any choices but a trip to the doctor to have the prenancy aborted….simple.
6. Tanya says:

   March 17, 2009 at 3:25 pm

   Mark,

   Don’t be quick to make such a drastic decision. Think of the possible out comes of such a procedure. What if complications from the abortion lead to the girls inability to ever get pregnant again?

   You definately don’t want to be responsible for taking that away from her.
7. Shekinah Ade-Gold says:

   March 17, 2009 at 5:40 pm

   It depends.

   It is suprisingly alarming to see the rate at which teenage are becoming pregnant nowadays. You would expect to see teenage girls going through their books, not allowing men to go through them.

   In my opinion, this problem occurs because of of a number of reasons.

   1. The girl does not have high self-esteem. Research has shown that teenage girls with low self esteem tend to have sex earlier than girls with high self esteem. They think lowly of themselves and will allow any boy to do anything to them. In such a case, I would sit down with my daughter and explain to her that she is a beautiful creation of God and should treat herself as such.

   2. Curoisity. Many parents do not take the time out to explain to their daughters about sex. They,in turn, go to school and other places, where they are given wrong information, or are pressured by their friends. They hear stories and, wanting to try it for themselves, have intercourse. In that case, I would apologise to her for not giving her the proper training she should have gotten, and really talk to her about the whole issue.

   3. Rebellion. The girl is angry because she feels her parents are “boring”, “ruining her life”, and so, to show that she can take care of herself, that she is responsibe enough, she goes and and has sex. In that situation, I would let her live in the house, but I am no longer her father. I may seem cruel, but after all, I took the time out to explain and warn, but because she is a “adult”, well, she can manage on her own. She became “grown”, therefore i am no longer needed.
8. Sasha D. says:

   March 18, 2009 at 8:18 am

   Mark:
   I am so sad that the only way you see out of this dilemma is an abortion. Do you realize that you are talking about a life? And don’t you think that in such a case, upset as you would be, your daughter would still have a right to decide what to do with her child?
   So, what if she refuses to have an abortion, would you then throw her and her unborn child out onto the streets?

   Yesterday, I shared my own story of getting pregnant at age 17, and how the love, support and encouragement of my Mom, helped me through it all. At the time it seemed I had made a monstrous mistake, and I cried endlessly, because I had let my parents down. My dad wouldn’t even talk to me! He was so upset!

   But when my precious little son was born, he became the “apple of my father’s eyes.” And he has grown into one very special, handsome young man. Thank the Lord, Mark, my father did not hand me such an ultimatum: abortion or abortion.

   Mom and Dad, if your teenage daughter finds herself pregnant do at least give her the chance to decide what she wants to do with her pregnancy and offer your love and support. Getting pregnant, having an ‘early’ baby is a difficult pill to swallow, but it is definitely not the end of the world.
9. Tammy says:

   March 18, 2009 at 8:21 am

   I am not yet a mother but if I should find my self in such a situation in the future I would not turn my daughter away but would support her. I am the child of a teenage mother and if my mother had listened to the ‘caring’ people who told her to abort me I would not be here today! She was turned out of her home by her father but she had me and it is her life story more than any sex ed talk why I too did not become a teenage mother.

   A word to those who think teen mothers are not responsible; my mother grew me right! She more than any one else has been a true source of inspiration to me. Her struggles to bring me into this world, nuture me and care for me makes me love her even more! To those who want the teen to have an abortion; think it through realistically and put your pride aside, don’t do it to try to ‘save’ face.
10. Anne says:

    March 18, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    Mark,
    abortion can lead to post-abortion traumatic stress, e.g. depression, anxiety, lowself-esteem, prolongued grief over the lost baby, inability to continue studies, and emotional distress, even suicide.
    A link with increased risk of breastcancer in women who have aborted has been reported by medical research.
    Also, physical harm endured during an abortion may lead to infertility.
    It happened to my daughter and I wish that for no one, not even for my worst enemy.
    Think before you seek an “easy” solution, it may just lead to a string of unexpected greater problems. These problems are tougher than raising your first grandchild.
    Anne
11. Bob says:

    March 18, 2009 at 7:02 pm

    ALL YOU GUYS TALKING HER IS BULLS. YOU CLOSE THE GATE BEFORE THE HORSE GO THROUGH IT. TEACH YOUR YOUNG DAUGHTERS STARTING AT AGE 10 ABOUT SEX AND BOYS AND ALL THE COMPLICATION IT CAN AND WILL BRING . INSTEAD OF TALKING ABOUT HOW TO CLOSE THE GATE ONCE THE HORSE GONE THROUGH IT.

    IF YOU SPEND $10 TODAY AND TOMORROW YOU GET ANOTHER 10 ITS NOT THE SAME ONE YESTERDAY ONE IS ALREADY GONE . SO WHAT IS GONE ITS GONE . IT CANT COME BACK. SO WE SHOULD WORK TO PREVENT THESE THINGS. IF WE TEACH THEM PREVENTION WE WONT HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THROWING THEM OUT AND ABORTION.

    THERE IS ANOTHER REALITY THAT SOME PARENT WONT ACKNOWLEDGE. THAT COME WHAT MAY THEY CANT STOP THEIR TEENAGE DAUGHTERS FROM HAVING SEX. NO MATTER WHAT. UNLESS THEY ARE WITH THEM 24/7
    SO THAT’S WHY YOU NEED TO SUPPORT THEM AND ENCOURAGE THEM ON HOW TO TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES IF AND WHEN IT HAPPEN. THAT MEAN THEY WONT GO OUT THERE BLIND AND IGNORANT OF THE ISSUE. THEY WILL BE WELL INFORMED.
12. Boysie says:

    March 19, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    This is a very sensitive subject,however i would never turn my back on my teen age daughter if she should get pregnant.Why? because it would be ignorant of me to do that,and further more she would be carrying my grand child.It is very important for parents to have discussions with their teenage daughters, because an ‘ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure’ Abortion is not a solution, some people use it as an option, which is so wrong!
13. puma35 says:

    March 20, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    I would be rather upset if my teen daughter became pregnant, however i would not turn my back on her, but allow her to carry her to child to term. My responsibility would be to assist but not to shield her from the her responsibility. If she is a conscientious child yelling and screaming will not help, but her life as a parent will definately teach her a thing or two. Abortion! no! we don’t need any more blood on our hands!
14. Jahmarsh says:

    March 21, 2009 at 5:19 pm

    There is a concept that is called personal responsibility, once a child hit a parebt and it is proven that the parent is not abusing that child it is time for that a child to leave home and assume adult responsibility
15. Jahmarsh says:

    March 21, 2009 at 5:20 pm

    There is a concept that is called personal responsibility, once a child hit a parent and it is proven that the parent is not abusing that child it is time for that a child to leave home and assume adult responsibility
16. Ommugabe says:

    March 22, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    A female was ‘designed’ to Produce, Preserve, Protect & Promote LIFE!
    When this is the case, no Jamaican should be promoting abortion to our women.
    Those who abort today, will in time be aborted. Existence is forever, longer the short journey from the womb to the tomb. And what goes around, in time comes around.

    In these sex-addicted days of deadly AIDS, incurable mating diseases and government promotion of promiscuity, it is very very important for parents or other responsible adults in the family to educate the children about how their body functions.

    It’s really a matter of life or death and disease.

    And we should not allow the children to have so-called ‘sex education’.
    Sex education is for those about to begin mating, which is not age appropriate for mere children.
17. library22 says:

    March 23, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    i could not turn my teen age daughter ouy because got pregnant before the right time why it could have being me as a dad who did sit her down to and discuss the do’s an don’t of sexual acts, base on my fear of talking to her on the subject which is really what happens to many a family in our society today so i would have to support through this crisis.
18. Deb says:

    March 24, 2009 at 7:11 pm

    She would either have an abortion or move out.
19. Kay says:

    April 3, 2009 at 12:29 pm

    Why are people so small minded. It is people like Mark and Deb whose daughters would get pregnant as teens because they are afraid to talk to their parents and they go out have sex, get pregnant and before you know it, they either having an abortion, running away, or killing themselves because they are afraid of what their parents might think.

    When a teenager comes to you with such vital information, you need to not condone her behavior but not chastise her also,speak to her about her possible decisions. If she made the decision to have unprotected sex it is only right to let her decide what to do with this baby.

    Whatever her decision, you should support her and don’t let her feel forced to make a decision she doesn’t want.

    Plus note to self, having an abortion will take the baby away but she and you as the parent will ALWAYS have that cloud over your head there will be no silver nor gold lining.
20. Karen says:

    April 27, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    I am with Deb and Mark, I paid for my daughter to be on the birth control for many years and she still became pregnant. I am devastated. To me there is not other option at this age, your life will never be the same and you can say good bye to continuing your education as you will now never be able to afford it. To make matters worse in my case the Father of my 19 year olds kid is a 35 year old looser who has nothing but a drug and alcohol problem. He is also verbally abusive. I just don’t get it, I spoke to her about and like I said even provided her with the pills. I will always support her but I can’t even be around him. I told her she had to move out, and she is doing so with him this weekend. I am sure they will live happily ever after.
21. Sasha says:

    May 1, 2009 at 11:13 am

    depends on the situation and the condition. because some children did not and still dont receive the love from their family and sothe go in search somewhere else.in another situation some of them are exposed to sexual behaviour from they very young. and i know of some condition wher in the child is been sold or been forced to get money for herself.some girls are under peer presure at school and not only school but in there community.i wouldnt put her out but i would surely bring the father to justice.
22. Just Us says:

    May 21, 2009 at 11:30 pm

    Well…I’ve read all the posts and most has helped me out a lot. I’ve very recently learned that my 16 year old is pregnant. I was more (and still am) disappointed in her than anything else. Of course I’m angry, ashamed, distraught, and all that goes along with it. But…I will stand by my baby. I’ve been crying off and on ever since she told me. We actually have a good relationship and she will tell anyone that so it didn’t happen because of her not being able to come to me. She does not have low self-esteem. I made sure of that because I did while growing up and wanted to make sure my children loved themselves and know they are special. I did initially tell her she would get an abortion because I care about her well being and her life. She doesn’t want an abortion because she doesn’t want to be killing the baby but she would do it for me because she feels she owes me that. I have had a couple of days to digest it all; however, not completely. I have come to the conclusion, just tonight, that the only choice will be to try and carry the baby full term and raise it. It surely isn’t the end of the world and my baby girl is a great kid. She just thinks she’s in love and thinks that the father will be there for them, as he has told her. I doubt it and have told her to be prepared to raise the child without him because guys can and will walk out when things get tough. She knows the struggles I’ve gone through with her and her brother, raising them alone after my divorce from her father. She said she was just caught off guard and it happened. Who am I to cast stones at her. Who are any of us to cast stones at anyone. We all have sinned. Many of us will continue to sin. I’ve come to accept what I cannot change and ask God for guidance. No one else’s opinion matters. When it’s all said and done it will be my daughter, the baby, and myself with God guiding us. She is positive in that she knows it will be a rough road but she has to finish her last year in high school and go on to build her own business. While I will help her as much as possible, I’ve told her that she is responsible for this child. I do not intend to babysit and will not alter my life for “her” child as I did for “my” children. That’s her position now.

    As I write this, it is no new that we haven’t had her first prenatal appointment yet.

    I pray that anyone else reading these posts will take what I’ve said into consideration and let it console you because you are not alone in this. None of us are. Yes, you will go through the motions of anger, disappointment, embarrassment, disgust, and fear but after it soaks in you will stand by your baby and do what it takes for her. Let nature take it’s course, no pun intended. As I told her, a mother’s love runs deep and although I don’t trust her and I’m very disappointed in her, I still love her and will be by her side every step of the way. That’s what mothers do. I don’t sugar coat anything for her. I tell her exactly how I feel. If she’s woman enough to make a baby and deliver a baby then she’s woman enough to hear the words delivered to her from me, knowing that I’m here for her forever.

    May God bless each of you going through this similar situation. Stay strong and trust that the season will pass.
23. Just Us says:

    May 21, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    “As I write this, it is no new that we haven’t had her first prenatal appointment yet.”

    correction: *it is “so” new that we haven’t had her first prenatal appointment yet.
24. TJ says:

    June 17, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    Turning out a pregnant teen age daughter is the last thing i would do. Abortion is also out of the question unless it came down to her life and that of the unborn child. That being said lets be real no matter how much we try and prepare condoms break and birth control fail. I can’t stop her/him but my child will be prepared as i can make them for all eventualities.

    What i find interesting though is how comments are made about what one should do about their “daughters” what about our sons. While the young lady may carry the evidence she didn’t get herself pregnant. Boys and girls alike should be educated about teenage pregnancy.