Positive Parenting » Plea of a 25-year-old man : A Jamaica Gleaner Blog

Plea of a 25-year-old man

“I want my mommy,” exclaimed Marlon Duke as he sat in the waiting area at the May Pen Hospital in Clarendon. This plea would have been considered normal for a little boy waiting to see the doctor, but Duke is 25 years old.
He was looking at a woman and her son who were together at the hospital. It pained his heart to see a mother showing love to her son, he said, because he never had that in his life. He gets jealous of people who are showered with love and affection, as he longs for someone to care for him.
Duke explained that he does not know what a mother’s love is, even though his mother is alive and living in Jamaica. What he remembers is that she would beat him on the head whenever he disobeyed her, as a result of which he became epileptic at age 14.
On the other hand, his mother Marie Gordon, described him as “very fantastic”. She explained that she has two bigger girls and she wished they were boys because as boys, they would have taken care of her as much as her son did.

Should Duke simply forget the past and move on? Is it a commentary on his character for a grown man to pine for his mother? Is such a man weak? And what of the mother? What should she do at this time? GIVE US YOUR VIEWS.

Tags: character, family, love affection, man, mommy, mothers, parenting, relationship, strength, weakness

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7 Responses to “Plea of a 25-year-old man”

Mister says:

April 22, 2009 at 3:28 pm

This fella needs counseling, send him to Fathers Incorporated. Childhood days done and gone, time to grow up and move on. Who said life is fair? Man, your situation isn’t the worse. Some people are born blind and others born as conjoined twins with two persons sharing one body! If you want some shock therapy to jolt you back into reality, check out the story on the TREE MAN then ask yourself: “What am I complaining about?”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1569156/Tree-man-who-grew-roots-may-be-cured.html

If the TREE MAN heard about your complaint he would happily ask you to swap places with him! So you see, you don’t really have a complaint, now do you? Love yourself and find a woman your age group to love and she’ll love you back. In no time you’ll have more love in your surroundings than you can manage. You have the power to change all that. Easy fix!
Bob says:

April 23, 2009 at 7:36 am

THIS IS A THOUGH SUBJECT FOR ME TO COMMENT ON . BECAUSE I HAVE ALWAYS HAVE MY MOTHER, ALTHOUGH MU FATHER DIED WHEN I WAS 12, MY MOM HAS DOUBLED AS MOM AND DAD. SO ITS HARD TO UNDERSTAND HIS FEELING AND I WAS VERY WELL LOVED. SO I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE OF WHICH I COULD GENUINELY SAY YES I UNDERSTAND HIS FEELING. AND THE MOTHER IS TELLING A DIFFERENT STORY . SO WHAT TO BELIEVE. IT COULD SIMPLY BE THAT HE HAS HIS MENTAL ILLNESS AND AT THE TIME IT ACT UP ON HIM.

BUT I WISH MORE MOTHERS WOULD LOVE THEIR KIDS NO MATTER WHAT . BECAUSE THEY ONLY HAVE ONE MOTHER AND NONE OF THOSE KIDS HAD ASKED TO BE BROUGHT IN THE WORLD , WHERE WE SOME TIMES ONLY THINK OF OUR SELVES , INSTEAD OF THE WELL BEING OF A CHILD.
ESTEBAN AGOSTO REID says:

April 26, 2009 at 8:19 am

Mr. Marlon Duke definitely needs counseling!! The treeman story is incredible. Thanks for the link Mister. Nuff respect!!
Steve says:

April 28, 2009 at 5:33 pm

I think the Government should make parenting classes mandatory for new mothers even if they have children already and refresher courses for those who have completed the course already…
The classes should have flexible hours, must be completed within 6 months and heavy sanction to be applied to those who have not completed the classes…
MSW says:

May 1, 2009 at 2:36 pm

The cry from this man that he needs his MOTHER should not be laughed at .Is this true that this man could be one of our BARRELL/CHILD/ -ADULT?? .He probably never knew what a MOTHER’s LOVE is .I truly feel bad for this man from a professional level.I do hope he get the help he needs .This is not a laughing matter.
Sunshine says:

May 17, 2009 at 4:18 pm

Thank God for my mother, I pray for you my brother that you will find inner peace one day and turn to God for guidance and read up on biblical scripture about forgiveness. You will need to forgive your mother and then be patient with yourself to let smeone into your life, and raise your children the way you would like to be raised.
BabbieWallace says:

May 26, 2009 at 1:32 pm

This guy maybe crying because he is finding it difficult to show love to others. He can give his mothers things that she needs but still does not love she or anyone. Childhood life is what really makes or breaks a person. that is why we need real mother and not only women with children. Parents set the foundation for a healthy, happy, successful life both in the short term and the long term.

Steve, I do agree with you. Parenting class should be mandatory in Jamaica. Every mother will say that they love their children, will not harm them and doing the best to give them a bright future. Now how many of them know that their ways of disciplining them may not be the correct way for their children.

I was in a store one day with my one and a half yeas old daughter and she decided that she wanted my debit card to push in the candy bar machine. I told her it will not work in it and I used coins to punch out a healthy snack bar for her. She refused the bar and started crying for my card i put it in my bag and she threw herself on the floor with a tantrum. I told her to get up, but most naturally she did not hear me ,since her crying were much louder than my voice. I stood there as calm as ever, watching her and making sure she does not hurt herself on the floor. The ladies in the check out line were so mad. They said, “Lady don’t let she embarrass you and rule you. If it was me i would give her some lick in this store yuh see.
one asked me how old she was and i told them and they all came to the conclusion that i spoil her because i did not beat the day light out of her. Nevertheless, after she stopped crying and got up off the floor i took her to the car and i told her how bad her behavior was and how it made me feel and also what could happen to her while she was in a tantrum on the floor. Yes, i am expecting her to do it again because she is a baby and although her brain is like sponge, tantrum is the norm for them when they feel like you are not understanding their needs.

Tantrum is normal for any child. crying is there way of communicating and expressing them selves. If I cannot understand her behavior can not hit her to death? How could i even think of hitting an eighteen months old baby. further more i did not hit her because i do not want her to believe that because i have the power i must hit her in order to get the result that i want or because she was not pleasing me at the moment.

It is not ok to hit a child.

There will always be disagreement in life. It may be in the homes, at work, church, community setting and else where. Mothers need to learn how to teach their children positive problem solving and conflict resolution by doing it to them at a tender age. When you hit a child you are telling the child it is fine to hit when they do not get what they want. We end up turning out bullies, domestic abusers and wars mongers. This may be one of the reason why so many of our men beat women. Women beat men too but Shhhheeeee the men are not talking. Crime and violence is out of hand in our little country. If you offend a person the only thing they know to do is to hit you with the gun because the belts, sticks and hands is too soft for people now a days. Parents when you discipline children by hitting them you are harming them and creating monsters.

I know that there are some of us who got the hitting but still are not violent, but our only protection may be because we know that we will pay the consequences. Most of us then habour the anger inside of us for years. We some times get heart attack, high blood pressure and stroke because of it.

Parents need education to understand that children need love care and plenty affection.
Parents need to be patient. They need to be compassionate. they need to be good communicators and problem solvers in order to discipline their children positively.