In Praise of Courageous Women: Pat, Joy and the Moms

October 28th, 2014

“Let us now praise famous men.”

You may be familiar with this quotation from the Jewish Wisdom of Sirach and Ecclesiasticus in the Bible. This week, however, I have decided to praise neither men nor famous people, but some women I know, who cannot claim to be famous either (although they really should be). So, this is what you might call a tribute.

Last week I touched on the nature of heroism, and what constitutes courage, in my article for National Heroes Day. Well, these women stand in my pantheon of heroes, all wearing shining crowns on their heads. I know they may not wish to be regarded in that light, but I find them so awesome (in the literal sense of the word – I am in awe of them!) that I cannot help but see them that way.

Tributes are tricky; they often sound trite and formulaic. I suppose what I am trying to do is to write about the demanding, trying and selfless work that Patricia Watson, Joy Crawford and the Mentor Moms at Eve for Life Jamaica do, each and every day. They deal with the almost daily crises and dramas with humor, patience and, above all, with compassion. I would add, they do their work often with very few resources at their disposal.

An Eve for Life client tells her story at last year’s soft launch of “Nuh Guh Deh.”

What is Eve for Life? This small non-governmental organization, founded in 2008, works with a group of some 80 adolescent and young mothers, most living with HIV/AIDS, aged 15 – 24 years old (and of course, their young children). Eve provides ongoing and continuous counseling, social support and assistance – getting the girls back in school, teaching them life skills, offering vocational training opportunities. The young mothers are in Kingston, St. James and St. Ann. Many are unemployed and struggle to put food on the table (literally). But the aim is not to simply give them handouts; Eve is a nurturing environment that assists the girls to get back on their feet, become independent and look life straight in the eye, again. These are very young women and girls. Many have never had the chance to enjoy their childhood, or to feel free to be themselves – simply to be young. For many of the girls, Eve is family – a supportive family.

A happy day for Eve for Life: Patricia Watson tries out the wonderful new bus donated by UNICEF Jamaica, while then UNICEF boss Robert Fuderich sits in the passenger seat.

And speaking of free: In addition to launching their “Nuh Guh Deh” campaign (“No more sex with the girl child”), Eve has produced a searing publication (with funding from the British High Commission, the U.S. Embassy and support from UNICEF Jamaica and others) entitled “I Am Now Free: Diaries of a Survivor of Child Rape and Sexual Abuse.”  It is a journal (written by Ashley, a survivor of carnal abuse at age 12, rape and HIV infection) that expresses so much pain, confusion, anger and anxiety that it is sometimes hard to read.

Yes, we know, these are very difficult topics that we tend to shy away from. It’s so much easier to push things under the carpet, isn’t it? But you know – you know – those things you don’t want to think about, they are still there. Pat (Eve’s Executive Director) and Joy (Programs and Training Manager) have never been afraid to confront them, painful as they may be; from the warmth of their hearts and the burning need for action, they saw the need and they have responded to it, without hesitation.

Joy Crawford gets a hug from young dub poet and “Kreativ Aktivis” Randy McLaren.

I first met Pat when she began writing a series of moving – often heart-breaking – HIV diaries in the Gleaner. At the time, these were stories from another world. HIV and AIDS weren’t spoken of much, and the “victims” (as we wrongly called them) were regarded almost as aliens. Their faces could never, ever be shown on television. They did not have voices. Pat started to give them voices. She played a part in making Jamaicans understand that their fellow citizens living with HIV and AIDS were human beings, too – Jamaican mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters. Pat has continued to do this, in her own quiet and determined way – to reach out to the humanity in people; especially those who may feel that they are almost at the end of the road, which has turned out to be a dead end.

Joy always has a twinkle in her eye. For the launch of the “Nuh Guh Deh” campaign earlier this month, the band No-Maddz performed a song written from Joy’s point of view. Joy is down-to-earth and at the same time accepting. She is like everyone’s auntie – sometimes strict, but always understanding. Yes, it’s OK. She understands. It’s OK.

(left to right): Joy Crawford, Ruth Jankee of World Learning, Sheldon Shepherd of No-Maddz and Patricia Watson get together for a photo-op. No-Maddz are strong (and generous) supporters of Eve for Life’s work.

And then there are Eve’s moms, the girls – and their special Mentor Moms, who guide, advise and support them. Protect them when needed. You know, no matter the hardships they have been through and may still be enduring, young people don’t want to dwell in a world of victimhood and hurt for ever. Once they see the world starting to open up for them – horizons lit by the sun – they want to go out there and explore, do the best for themselves, take responsibility. For these girls, there will be many issues to work through, including rebuilding relationships with their families, seeking better understanding with their partners, caring for their children with love, caring for themselves with love, managing their money and the practical aspects of life. And learning. Youth is a time for learning. Eve makes all of this possible for them. Then they can start to beat their own path towards

Some scars don’t heal over completely, but after a while you can get used to them. You know they are still there but you find a way to live with them. Sometimes they give you strength.

And that is my tribute. Inadequate as it is. Because it’s hard to quantify, value or do justice to the work these women do. It is who they are.

P.S. Here’s something to remember about compassion – a quality sadly missing in many parts of our society: “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” 

Tags: British High Commission, child abuse, Eve for Life, HIV/AIDS, Joy Crawford, Kingston, Montego Bay, NGO, No-Maddz, Nuh Guh Deh, Patricia Watson, sexual abuse, St. Ann, teen pregnancy, U.S. Embassy, UNICEF Jamaica