A Question of Ego – or Love?

December 21st, 2015

Rev. Father Sean Major-Campbell is, in my view, an extraordinary “church man.” He certainly is in the modern Jamaican context, in a society fraught with divisions (real or imagined). The priest at the Anglican Christ Church in Vineyard Town, Kingston not only advocates for human rights, that is human rights for all, but demonstrates these core principles through his actions. I believe all those who call themselves Christians should do this. And so Father Sean does this – in the midst of considerable criticism, I might add. I was delighted to see that he received a trophy at the Ubuntu Essence of Humanity awards ceremony recently. He understands that we are all connected, we all depend on each other – even if we think we don’t.

Father Sean washing the feet of Jamaican lesbians at his Human Rights Day service in 2014. (Photo: Rudolph Brown/Gleaner)

For example, Father Sean symbolically washed the feet of Jamaican lesbians just over a year ago, on Human Rights Day. A transgender man addressed the congregation. As you can imagine, the media reveled in the story (the church and sexuality always being an attractive mix for them) and tremors shook some members of the congregation. Quite unconcerned, Father Sean told The Gleaner at the time: “The truth is the call to love
is not just about your close friends and close family and those it is easy to love; the call transcends those we are not so comfortable with, as well.”

Father Sean Major-Campbell receives his Ubuntu Essence of Humanity award from Dr. Elaine Wallace, Registrar and Chair, Fi Wi Jamaica Project Steering Committee, University of Technology.

Ah, that word Love. It’s the Christmas season, and we are supposed to be filled with love for our fellow man (and woman), aren’t we? Or are we just a wee bit selective in the Love Department, as Father Sean suggested? He spoke recently at a Christmas dinner for J-FLAG’s support group for the parents and families of gay and lesbian Jamaicans. The young people were there – and as many young people do, they mostly hung out together at tables rather than with their mothers – who didn’t seem to mind, although someone asked half-seriously, “Why don’t you sit and eat with your mother?” There was one very supportive father present. We ate some good food, chatted and took a lot of “selfies” – and we had live music and dance, too.

Being the parent of an LGBT Jamaican is, to put it mildly, a challenge. Whether you are uptown, downtown or living in the country, the issues are complex and peculiar. The mother and/or father has to contend not only with parenting, but also with the attitudes, actions and behavior of other family members – and those of the community. Moreover, he/she (usually she) has to deal with his/her own feelings towards a child she may not be able to understand or empathize with – but who will likely encounter the sticks and stones of ignorance in the world outside. But then – there is love.

There is a lot more to say. Family dynamics, relationships, interactions all vary hugely, at the best of times; what happens in our homes is always a fluid situation, with no guarantees. But there is no doubt that the atmosphere out there is hostile, unforgiving (and prurient). So, there is intense pressure from the outside. Sharing his thoughts with the families, Father Sean decided to pose a few questions to the parents. He described different ways in which they could react to the general situation they find themselves in – especially in relation to the surrounding community. Then he asked them to characterize it: “Is that your ego speaking, or is it love?” 

The parents figured it out pretty quickly. After a year of monthly sessions in the support group coordinated by J-FLAG’s extremely able counselors, they were quick to find the right responses. While some of the “ego” situations caused a little discomfort (for example, being swayed by a neighbor’s comments and using them to judge your own child) they were very sure of what was right.

“Love!” they chorused.

It’s easier to recognize a loving response, isn’t it. I find that encouraging. I hope that more Jamaicans will realize that is the only option, if we are to make any progress as a society. We are, after all, only human, and we are all interconnected. And, as Father Sean has demonstrated, it is also possible to love (or indeed, accept) someone who may not be “perfect” or “normal,” in your eyes. But then, who is?

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Tags: Anglican Church, family, human rights, J-FLAG, Kingston, LGBT community, parenting, Rev. Sean Major-Campbell, Ubuntu Awards, University of Technology