DRAG RACING : BARBARIC MACHINES WERE AT NITROUS VENDETTA! Part 4 – Final

Do not read much into Mercedes’ apparent lack of pace during last week’s F1 testing session. Do you know what each team was testing? Are you aware of what their fuel load was? Did each team reveal its testing program? If you are unable to provide accurate answers for each question, accept the sentence which appears at the beginning of this paragraph!

CORVETTE

There were far too many storytelling moments at Nitrous Vendetta. The Sam Issacs Funeral Home sponsored Corvette, despite its obvious connection with a halted heartbeat, lol, was a crowd favorite. But when the stakes rose to eliminations it huffed, puffed and rumbled to a silent death. Machine though!

DELANO ‘CORY’ FRASER

Honda, as expected, maintained its usual dominance. ‘Toda’ succumbed to an elder’s wisdom. Cory, a.k.a. Delano Fraser, who could win the 11 seconds class on a dismantled unicycle, claimed his title without much interference. His final rival – ANTZMAN detected a threat – a highly flammable cocktail of BOP and PYRO! His machine chose suicide – bled to death – gearbox woes.

But, Antzman displayed character. He returned for his encounter with Cory on foot – literally, Man vs Machine.  Antzman will be back! Cory’s Howard Hughes project (if you watched The Aviator you will understand) might just be ready for March. Will he slaughter the machines he was ‘hired’ to drive?

If you did not hear, you can thank me later. Nitrous Vendetta has ignited a firestorm. Motivation to enter the speed-arena is at an all-time high – Everest is a mound when compared! Caustic stones are being hurled with reckless abandon by gentlemen who occupy massive glass houses! And then there are other drag racers who simply want a piece of speed’s action.

ZED ZED BOSS

The ZED ZED BOSS – Mr Hurlock – a.k.a. Bossy D is currently locked in a never ending battle for supremacy in the West. Years ago, a popular dance roamed the streets. It was known as ZIP IT UP! Remember that dance?

Mr Hurlock, by all accounts, intends, in short order, to introduce a version of ZZ speed, which would lead to or cause several blabbering mouths to be permanently ZIPPED! What will ‘Bossy D’ deliver on March 31st? Robert, his photographer, will definitely document the drama as it unfolds.

OMAR EVERING

Omar Evering, is without doubt a star on the drag racing stage. He has contributed significantly to the resurgence of Nissan pride. And when the camera appears, his performance is always Oscar-worthy. Drag racing needs an Omar Evering!

OMAR A MURDER SQUADDY!

So, Omar, being himself, revealed a list of accomplishments. On the list, he, like a sniper, stated his number of kills. The Supra community is livid. We all know that Omar ‘nu tek chat’ especially during “Supper”. Will the Supras roll out to defend their honor? Omar – real BOSS!

Roland, Roland, Roland. The drag racing world is eternally grateful to individuals like Roland. Roland is still completing an eel-like task – rather difficult to grab. He is still searching for the 9 seconds mark. Will it be delivered March 31st?

But, that quest is not as interesting as this possibility. Roland, somehow interfered with a particular individual’s ‘medz’.  Why Roland disturbed the tycoon we will never know. Will the magnate return to the track on March 31st? He has dollars. He has sense. We, who have neither will wait. March 31st?

Drag Rivals – March 31st – Jamwest Speedway!

Cecil Munroe Gleaner On-Line Writer