Would you go counselling with your boyfriend?
We started an informal conversation on the Flair desk on this topic recently and the affirmative lost out. Most of the ladies on the desk believe that if you and your boyfriend have an issue so big that both of you have to see a counselor, it is best to end the relationship.
These ladies admitted that if they were married it would be different. If while married they had an issue that they deemed earth shattering enough, they would make the effort and consult a professional.
However, considering counselling is not such a bad thing. Yes, yes we know that the “c” word is viewed as a bad word for many Jamaicans. But, look at it this way, no relationship is perfect and maybe if you can work through a rough patch before you get married (with the help of a counsellor) then it makes for a stronger relationship afterwards.
By no means does this mean that for every problem and with every boyfriend you run off to seek professional help. Counseling should be reserved for a relationship you have invested a number of years in, for someone you believe you have a future with; and of course, if you think the issue can be resolved. Additionally, the entire process can be confidential.
Tags: boyfriend, Counselling, marriage
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4 Responses to “Would you go counselling with your boyfriend?”
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i would definitely go to counselling with my boyfriend. in fact, i plan for us to go together before we get married just to ensure we are ready for that stage. i dont think its so prudent to go to counselling only after marriage.
i believe that anything you truly want is worth fighting for. so if i want to be with someone and he too wants to be with me and we have an issue that we cant objectively seem to conquer, then its worth a try to get outside help. sometimes a resolution is near but being so close makes it hard to see. some issues are just not manageable without a mediator type. and i dont think it means that the relationship cant work … it just means extra effort is needed.
yes i would go with my girlfriend since she gets upset for the simplest of things and never gets tired of accusing me and i really love her.
but frankly im getting tired of it so yes professional counselling is not a bad idea if you love the person and wants it to work
Counseling for relationships are risky and provocative. 1st the counselor does not have the time to hear all, and the couple being human, tends to point out the side that he or she felt hurt the most. Most will make up the story in their own way, to make it worse that it should. If the counselor is man, the woman will not be too forthcoming, and if it’s a woman counselor, the female counselor tends to mirror her past or present life with that of the female.
Remember Counselors do not have perfect lives, so getting a stranger involved is a no no big time. The counseling should go between both of you. If separation is in the cards, so let it be, because both of you will come together again, until both you gets tired of each other.
Mark my words, the percentages of relationship counseling says, 87% always end up with bitterness and accusation on both sides. And the other person felt totally betrayed when each secrets are shared by a total stranger. Moreover, betrayal is one of the hardest wounds to heal, as a matter of fact I can go on record to say Betrayal never heals. why? because it will get in the way when both of you try to get together again. The trust is gone, and what you say to each other will be hesitant and filtered.
Historically persons who betrayed their country, or gang, or crew are usually shot point blank. In a study done by Harvard, suicides are very high with persons, especially policemen, who betrayed their clan. So find a way over a glass of wine to discuss your trials and tribulation, and please leave out the ‘hear sey’ part of it. Don’t forget, whatever both you enjoyed before others were envious, and there will always be break up to make up scenarios. Stay cool, and respect the decision by each, and know sey, that a next man a go bun yu ting deep and hard, or she must respect the decision that a next woman will find you as a real stud and simply very hard to forget. walk good.
NATURAL INJUSTICE.
YOU COME AGAIN WITH YOUR TWISTED MENTALITY!.. A LOVING RELATIONSHIP IS NOT A DICTATORSHIP!… ITS LIKE A BUSINESS PARTNERSHIP!. WHERE BOTH PARTY HAVE EQUAL SAY IN THE DECISION MAKING, AND THE GOING ON IN THE RELATIONSHIP!..
IF SOMETHING IS GOING WRONG! BOTH PARTY SHOULD FIND THE TIME TO DISCUSS IT! AND RESOLVE IT EVEN IF IT MEAN U HAVE TO GET OUTSIDE HELP!… BECAUSE LETS FACE IT HE NOR SHE IS UR CHILD, NOR IS EITHER ONE OWN THE OTHER!… THE RELATION SHIP SHOULD BE OUT OF LOVE AND MUTUAL RESPECT FOR EACH OTHERS!… WITH OUT THAT THERE IS NO POINT!…