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Is marriage obsolete?

Most of our blog topics originate from conversations on the Flair desk. Here’s another one to add to the list. We were talking about marriage when the numerous examples of apparently stable and successful unions came up. The disparaging thing was, they were all marriages wrought with unfaithfulness.

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It made us wonder if marriage was still relevant? The couples spanned the gamut from those who have been together for years, to young newly weds. But there was still one common denominator, unfaithfulness.
Why do they bother? I mean if you know you are going to be unfaithful, why go through the big hullabaloo and put on the ring? Go ahead and bounce with regular relationship then.
And what is it with a couple who have been dating for years and suddenly after they tie the knot, within two years they want a divorce? What happened? Did someone squeeze the toothpaste from the top? Is it that they picked up a bad habit in the marriage?
Fine maybe it’s the same unfaithful argument and I totally believe that this should not form a part of a marriage. However, many people believe being married can change a person. If that person was always cheating before they got married, its likely they will continue to after.
One opinion was that people are at different stages in their lives and want different things. Marriage becomes the great eye opener pointing out that these individuals need to go their separate ways.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel though; the decades old marriages, the ones that make you believe maybe the institution still has some integrity. Doesn’t it?

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7 Responses to “Is marriage obsolete?”

Rashelle says:

July 17, 2009 at 9:10 pm

Of course Marriage is not obsolete. The covenant of marriage has been attacked by the Enemy from the onset with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. I believe that a lot of people do not really understand the purpose of a marriage and so they enter into it for purely superficial and selfish reasons and when all hell breaks loose and it fails to fulfil that selfish desire they quickly file for a divorce and the cycle continues. A Marriage is a covenant between a Man, a Woman and God. God is to be at the centre of a marriage at all times. I believe that God’s purpose for Marriage is for the Man and the Woman to support each other in the fulfilment of their God given purposes on this earth. Ultimately our purpose on this earth is to serve God and the onus is on individuals to seek Gods instruction as to the details or the capacity of his or her purpose. God has placed the Man as the head of the household, as the head of the Woman, now this does not mean that the Woman is to be a slave to the Man but simply that He is accountable to God for the Woman and the Marriage, He is the Leader in the relationship. And because of ignorance a lot of men and women are not fulfilling their proper roles within the Marriage. What we have is role confusion,Husbands are not taking their rightful role as the Head of the household and wives have taken the role as the Head of the household and this was never God’s intention. So the whole concept of the single independent woman is in direct contradiction to God’s word and plan and it is a attempt to prevent the fulfilment of purpose through marriage and also to create division between the man and a woman in marriage. God never intended for man to fulfil all of mans’ needs only he can do that and the sooner we realise that the better off we’ll be.
Mrs.jamerica says:

July 19, 2009 at 3:31 pm

The secret to a successful marriage is communication, respect, trust and faith, and not necessarily in that order….lol. Affairs, and various moral indiscretions are one of the signs of the times but it does not mean that the marriage is over, marriage is like a job, you have to work at it. Quitting is easy and quitters never win.
uncensored_mind says:

July 19, 2009 at 8:33 pm

I don’t believe marriage is obsolete. But I do believe that people do not necessarily marry for love and companionship. I don’t think that many couples want the same things hence aren’t really compatible. And if there is no compatibility with certain things, then people will stray. I also think that people believe marriage will make their partner into the person they want them to be. They don’t get the whole “people don’t change unless they want to” thing.

People get married for the wrong reasons …. money, “pretty babies”, material things, being together for ‘x’ amount of years, sense of obligation to the person … amongst the whole host of not so right reasons. And these same people who get trapped will end up being unhappy and rather than make a fuss to leave they secretly or openly have affairs. other people are just unwilling to compromise.

I’m an optimist and I believe ALL relationships can (or could have) existed without infidelity. Its up to the people involved to make it work. If there is infidelity, its also up to those same people to decide to honestly work past it or give up or keep on their previous paths.
Neutral Justice says:

July 21, 2009 at 6:48 am

Marriage is for idiots who likes to suffer, a glut for punishment, and daily attacks of emotional waves tempered by nightly rewards of deflated intercourse. Now a days, marriage is the ultimate disparaging interaction between a man and a woman, each one say ‘I know this person because I was married to him or her’. That’s bull, you can live with a person for a 100 years and still don’t know a fraction of that individual’s other side.
Duane says:

July 22, 2009 at 8:50 am

As usual great points from the Flair team, I don’t think marriage is obsolete maybe the values that it represents have faded but it has an incontestable role in family life. Trouble is people get married for the wrong reasons, me thinks. The magic between two people that make them want to spend the rest of their lives together that rarely happens because everyone is obsessed with material things and make the decisions based on that… sucks but hey. I am not married but I believe in it… just no magic yet
trevor foreman says:

July 23, 2009 at 4:37 pm

How can marriage not be obsolete when man is now marrying man and woman marrying woman? why are we fooling ourselves and trying to be politically correct, when we very well know that this institution is dead.There will always be disagreements and ulterior motives in traditional marriages, and this will, in some cases,lead to separation and or divorce. Nothing in life is absolute, so it is absurd to think that some marriages won’t end in divorce regardless.If it was only for these reasons, then i believe that marriage remains relevant. But, is that we’re waiting for humans to start marrying animals to finally bury this obsolete institution?
Sue says:

July 27, 2009 at 10:18 am

Rashelle, you have delivered now all I can do is say amen. Marriages fail because people fail to make God a part of it, if a mate is faithful to him then that works out to faithfulness in the marriage.
Marriage is not a means of suffering, we suffer because of sin, if we did not have Adamic sin and death, no one would suffer.