Fight ‘ova’ man

Recently on the Flair desk, after reading Dear Pastor in The Star, we got into a long discussion about women fighting over men.

We all agreed that we would not get into a fist to fist encounter with another woman simply because we  catch her with someone we are dating. He simply isn’t worth it. But obviously there are women who have no problem doing it because it happens all the time, but why? That’s what we want to understand.

As far as Flair is concerned, instead of fighting each other, they should come together and give the man one sound beating and leave him lonely and sore. We are not talking about a beat down like in Beyonce’s recent movie Obsessed where the man was clearly not interested and the temporary secretary went a bit too far. We are talking about the situations where the man has clearly made a conscious decision to be with another woman.

So why fight the other woman? She’s not the one cheating on you, it’s the man. Many ‘women on the side’ are fully aware of their position and of your existence. Others are told that your relationship broke up or are completely unaware of your  existence. We think it’s quite simple. He cheats, you catch him, you leave.

Tell Flair, would you ever fight for over a man?

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10 Responses to “Fight ‘ova’ man”

  1. Kandibar says:

    Fight a woman for getting involved with my partner??? Absolutely positively not!!!!! Christ said in the bible “if you love me keep my commandments…” In a relationship being faithful is like a commandment (even if unspoken). Therefore, it is my belief if my partner loves me then it is very unlikely that he will cheat on me.
    So in my estimation the “rudeness” of the other woman is not the problem. The problem is the question of how much my partner truly loves and respects me. And I don’t believe in the joke that suggests that all men must cheat.
    Also, I think that getting into a confrontation with the other woman is highly likely to make you do or say things that might be unbecominng of a lady.
    I see no reason to “war” with the other woman over my man. He is not a goat or a puppy that innocently wondered off my property into another womans yard, where she keeps him for herself because he dug up her rose bush. Men are intelligent creatures who know right from wrong and who have the power to make the right choice- regardless of how hard it is.

  2. Patriot says:

    Female rivalry over males is ancient and almost unavoidable; because ALL healthy females ARE naturally in competition (expressed or subtle) to attract a most suitable mate.

    And it is going to occur, especially in ‘lean circumstances’, that more than one female may be seeking to attract the same mate.

    The more natural family structure of polygamy helps to soften the female rivalry, as females grow up recognizing that they can ‘share’ the mate instead of fighting.

    The unnatural/imposed monogamy on societies by ignorant, Western criminal invaders, has created much mating problems; including avoidable female fights, ‘cheating’, promiscuity, prostitution, pornography, etc, etc.

    Any female who thinks that ‘a man is not worth it’, doesn’t know much about what it means to be created female. Men would do well to avoid such females.
    Such females are either in denial as to their natural need for a mate, or such females are of ‘high maintanence’, or both. Not a good choice for a mate.

    Even males may find it necessary to battle brazen ‘wife thieves’ if the well being of offspring is involved.

  3. Trudy says:

    I really don’t think any woman should ever get in a confrontation with another woman over a man . It does not speaks volume about being a woman. what about the self respect, values and morals that are expected of a woman.i think it is full time we as women take a stance. if you belief a man should not cheat and he does it then he goes, i am sorry but if he does it once trust me it will happen again.
    Can you belief getting into a fight with another woman , what will he think of you, do you think the man would really stay naaaaaahhhhhhhh.
    if you are meant to be trust me you don’t have to degrade your self to keep him.

    love him instead of fighting over him.

  4. tanny says:

    I don’t believe in fighting any woman over man. I think both women should get together and teach the man fine lessen . Too often we degrade (women)ourself and the men leave feeling cute.Women we to think of ourself higher than fighting over a man,there is more than one fish in the sea.

  5. lennie says:

    I might be heading in another zone here . But let’s look on the men mind set. It is socially accepted for men in our culture to be dating several women . Way back in the bible it has been practice . So then how can a man comes to a mind of one partner . We men of ourselves won’t accept that pratice . We r like dogs , a reflection of another bone and we r off for it . Let add me I have full closure here where acceptinbg one partner n loving here is all I crave . This didnot come over night ,my mind being train to reach when a bone come to light . So, its in our being to act evil and think it . I had a renew mind where I took on christ like principles .

    Men on awhole enjoys the stir of beguiling behaviour . We boast on this and like to eloborate when in our peers . It is soft if a men don’t act out this . Love has nothing to do with it . Its our nature to gravitate to this behaviour .

  6. Ommugabe says:

    Lennie, speak for yourself!

    The ‘dog’ and ‘bone’ analogy may fit you; but you are obviously not in a position to speak for men in general.

    First of all, polygamy is the general state of human mating. It’s natural.

    Monogamy is only a ‘special case’ of polygamy.

    Even so, some men (the natural celibates) don’t even crave for one mate.

    Other males are naturally monogamous: They don’t care for the ‘headache’ from having more than one female. lol

    Other men are polygamous, and have the means to be polygamous. The resulting family(s), and especially the children, has a structured home environment.

    The other males are just overly promiscuous.
    This inclination towards wanton promiscuity in former slavery societies, is mostly the result of generation of destruction of the family structure during the criminal kidnapping, enslavement and colonization.

    Many males with your kind of religious brainwashing are as polygamous/promiscuous as those outside of religion.
    The only purpose the imposed religion serves is to waste minds, make Jamaicans unthinking, and so solidify ignorance.

  7. Elvena says:

    No man is worth fighting over for

  8. Sue says:

    No need to fight…..time is the healer of all things. Whatever a person does, will eventually come back to them. Society is without morals today, so everything is made to seem justified. Women are not free from blame when they are having an affair with a person that is already taken, they are an accessory to his crime, so this “oh no one tied him up” theory is really not enough to make the “other woman” come out of that kind of situation smelling like roses. I have lived long enough to see women, pay for their indiscretions, as well as the men, so leave them to time. Men cheat for different reasons so walking away is not always the correct course of action. The animalistic nature of human sexuality these days is a confirmation that God will put things to right soon, until then…….do good and it will follow you, do bad and………..

  9. Nice blog post,

    and I think ill bookmark your blog to read more of your work in the future,
    cheers

  10. uncensored_mind says:

    i personally believe that its ok to fight for whomever you love …. a physical fight is probably not necessary though. however, the physical fighting usually is a consequence of a woman feeling disrespected by that other woman. as was pointed out, some woman fully accept being the chick on the side and play the part very well. but there are others who know they are the other women but insist on making a nuisance of themselves to the man’s bonafide.

    i’ve been stalked and harassed by some girl who was in a fling with my b/f. while i was furious with him and i ensured he felt my wrath, she too got some of my anger. we were never in a physical encouter but i surely would have loved the chance to be the nuisance to her that she was to me.

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admin Posted by: admin May 8, 2009 at 2:53 pm